OK, I’m gonna describe a movie, you tell me the title. Ready? An attached songwriter meets up with female musician. They have a whirlwind relationship, she writes his lyrics, and they end up in a recording studio. Sorry John, not Once. Wanna play again? An 80s star, played by a romcom vet (who does well with the ladies), is commissioned to write a song that can propel him back to glory. But to do so, he needs the help of a female lyricist, played by a baby-faced romcom vet, who he somewhat reluctantly falls for in the weekend they have to write the song and record a demo. Apologies, Brian, but I’m not talking about Music and Lyrics.

No, as Adam surely figured out from this post’s title (’cause he’s smart like that) I’m referring to Face the Music. No, I hadn’t heard of it either. But dangerous things happen when you are at your family’s house, it is midnight, and you are scrolling through the free movies on InDemand.

Face the Music was apparently released in 1993, possibly only in France. Facts are sparse. I don’t believe it is on DVD. The film stars Patrick Dempsey as the songwriter who found Molly Ringwald singing in a Parisian nightclub. He wrote music for her lyrics, creating a smash hit. As they receive some nebulous award, he proposes to her, they get married, but it doesn’t last long, due partly to differences over her singing career (which he tries to thwart), and they lose track of each other. Fast forward a few years, and a noted movie producer manages to get them to agree to write a song together for his movie. It has to be done in a weekend, so Molly has to head to this countryside development Patrick Dempsey owns. With the fiancee he’s supposed to marry in a few weeks (she refuses to let him play music and instead forces him into a career as a real estate developer, just in case you can’t see where this is going).

The movie has a sheen of hokiness it tries to hide, making me wonder how awesome it could have been if it were made in the 80s. It does contain many romcom plot devices seen elsewhere. The necessity of signing divorce papers before a second marriage can happen, as found in Sweet Home Alabama (hmm…who was the third wheel in that movie again? Dude, Patrick, you should have seen it coming!). The fiancee (Lysette Anthony, and call me crazy, but to me she looks like a cross between Kylie Minogue and Maryam D’Abo (the chick from The Living Daylights)) being frigid and conniving. And foreign. Never a good sign for the other woman.

I did learn something from the film. Molly Ringwald is kind of foxy. Granted, the completely gratuitous shots of her in her underwear, wriggling into a pair of jeans, may have helped. Sure, she’s always been cute, but I guess I never really pondered her foxiness. Anyway, this movie is the type where she excels. She is deserving of a better script, though, it could really have been something. Patrick Dempsey doesn’t get as naked, sorry. He does spend some time spooning his fiancee, for whatever that’s worth. I’ve got no beef with Patrick Dempsey, he’s got an interesting enough persona, even if he doesn’t always bowl me over. Maybe I don’t understand how his career is so different from Rob Morrow. Morrow is like a slightly more interesting Dempsey! It is true, I swear. Just think about it.

The movie is lacking depth, a weakness common to many members of its genre. The dialogue isn’t snappy, but it rarely is awkward. The screenplay (written by Randee Russell, story by Russell and Laurie Craig, who co-wrote Ella Enchanted) often feels like it consists of individual scenes that aren’t bound together particularly well, and the characters are rather broadly drawn. Dempsey’s fiancee has a male friend (Dominic Jephcott) who is rather obviously into her. I’m not suggesting he needed to make a pass or show up in the ending smooching her, but his character sort of floats out there as a potential foil, but not really providing any tension, either through competition with Dempsey or unrequited love for the fiancee. There’s some comic relief from the film producer who brings the pair together (Michael Goldman, whose character is creatively named “Moshe”) and his nephew (Danny Green, who oddly enough only has two credits on imdb. This movie and something supposedly due out this year called Clubbed). They are both pretty over the top, but it works. Maybe not well, but it works.

Dempsey and Ringwald work fairly well together. As they should, they are vets at this sort of thing. I did find the reasons for their split and ultimate reunion a little weak. Which, yeah, makes them getting back together totally believable. Just feels a little forced. Or, it could have been done a little better, I think.

Unquestionably, the biggest failing of the movie is the crappy music. Which, as you can imagine, kinda hurts a movie about songwriters. I don’t know if it was the French musicians or the musical vagueness of the 1990s, but the songs don’t click at all. Part of the problem is that Molly Ringwald does her own singing. I admire her greatly, but it is good she stuck to her day job. But really the songs are just bad. In fact, the only good song is the result of the producer’s goofball nephew messing around on the awesome synthesizer. Possibly it is just that I’m a sucker for some 80s-sounding synthpop, but though it wasn’t half bad, it was pooh poohed as dreck.

I’ve devoted about a thousand words to Face the Music, so that’s probably enough. It isn’t bad, but I can understand why it isn’t out on DVD. It was interesting to watch, having seen Music and Lyrics and Once (not to mention Patrick Dempsey and Molly Ringwald headlining a movie I hadn’t heard of), but while I didn’t love those movies, I found them pretty decent. The film probably deserves a bit more of a following, but it more deserved a solid production.

I don’t have a real trailer for you, but here’s a clip of a couple scenes spliced together, so it is about the same. And it is Molly Ringwald singing.