So how about those Oscars, huh? They sure did happen, and quite a while ago, too. I guess after seeing so many movies we just had no more interest in even more posting.

But after all the great content we gave you in the days preceding the Oscars you don’t have any room to complain.

So thanks to everyone who followed us through the Oscar season, entered our Beat the Grouches Oscar pool, and joined us on our liveblog. Congratulations to Jared, who won the Oscar pool, and Gavin who was the closest non-Grouch.

Beat the Grouches Standings:

1. Jared, 18
2. Gavin, 17
2. Adam, 17
4. John, 16
4. Bob, 16
4. Borjan, 16
7. Brian, 15
7. Zack, 15
7. Will, 15
10. Jeff C, 14
10. Greg, 14
12. Emily, 13
13. KC, 12
13. Anne, 12
15. Seth, 11
16. Becca, 10
16. Suzanne, 10
18. Lucy, 9
18. Ryan, 9
20. Tim, 8
21. Mrs Bob, 7
22. Leah, 6
22. Aaron, 6

After the jump is the liveblog transcript for all of those who want to relive the night (and our incisive wit) again and again!

6:59 Jared:
Welcome to the Golden Grouches liveblog of the 2010 Oscars!

7:02 Brian:
Hello everybody! I’m distracted as I am finishing up my best picture picks and eating chinese food, but it’s a pleasure to be here and hope you are looking forward to tonight!

7:04

Which “lock” do you think has the best chance of losing tonight?
Mo’Nique
( 11% )
Christoph Waltz
( 11% )
Jeff Bridges
( 11% )
Sandra Bullock
( 67% )

7:04 Jared:
We about an hour into the red carpet stuff, and we start with Amanda Seyfried! Yay! She’s purty, and Adam is completely wrong about her.

7:04 Adam:
By definition, if I said it, it can’t be wrong.

7:05 Adam:
She’s not as attractive as Jared seems to think. Elizabeth Banks (who was on earlier) is MUCH hotter.

7:05 Brian:
I concur with Adam

7:05 Jared:
Well, hey, I’m not going to say anything bad about Elizabeth Banks.

7:05 Brian:
first and last time that’ll happen

7:06 Adam:
First and last time you will be right, Brian

7:10 Jared:
It is stunning that the viewers picked Sandra Bullock as the actress most likely to win. But what would cause someone to text in and vote?

7:10 Adam:
Same thing that would possess some one to actually join our live blog?

7:11 Jared:
Being awesome?

7:13 Adam:
……..

7:13 Jared:
My worst nightmare might be Ryan Seacrest asking me on national television if I’m in love with my new girlfriend. You know, should I ever have a girlfriend.

7:14 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Awww, don’t say that Jared.

7:14 Brian:
At first I thought John wrote that comment, and I was about to text Alice and tell her to jump on the blog and rip him a new one.

7:14 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Has everyone got their lists in?

7:15 Brian:
We’re waiting on John and Adam to finish up their picks, so there’ll be a post on that ready ASAP

7:15 [Comment From WillWill: ]
I want to see which fools voted against Maggie Gyllenhal for BSE

7:15 [Comment From WillWill: ]
ummmm

7:15 [Comment From WillWill: ]
best supporting Actress. Not Ectress.

7:17 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
And guys — I’m here in America’s Heartland with very short one paragraph interviews with some famous Iowans. People born away from the East or West Coast floodlights.

7:17 Jared:
I’m amazed that there is demand for a television show about genealogy.

7:18 Brian:
I gotta give Seacrest credit — he really doesnt pull his punches on the questions

7:18 [Comment From WillWill: ]
I’m amazed that Barbara Walters can imagine any of the hotel lobbies she’s been in at her age.

7:18 Adam:
Seacrest to Bigelow: “What do you say to James Cameron if you win?”
Bigelow: “Sucka!!!”

7:18 [Comment From GregoryGregory: ]
It’s NBC they’ll try anything

7:18 Brian:
the problem is that half the time he has no idea what he’s asking

7:18 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
First one — William Frawley, born in Burlington. What do you think, Bill? Bill: How come that bitch Vivian Vance can win an Oscar and I get bubkiss? Next thing I know William Demerest replaces me in “My Three Sons”. I played in dozens of films. I can’t believe I never won for stuff like, “Alibi Ike” or “Strike Me Pink”.

7:19 Jared:
Really, Adam? “Sucka!!!” is the best takedown you can come up with?

7:20 Jared:
For a guy who played a pedophile, Stanley Tucci seems pretty darn normal.

7:20 Brian:
who’s Stanley Tucci? I thought that was my dad up on the red carpet

7:21 Jared:
A note about comments: We love them! Keep them coming! But this year I’m going to be the keeper of the comments. I’m gonna let pretty much everything relevant fly, but just keep that in mind in case you don’t see your comment up there.

7:22 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Richard! Richard Beymer! from Avoca, IA! Step up to the microphone please. Richard: My big claim to fame? I shared the Golden Globe for New Star of the Year with Bobby Darin and Warren Beatty. Why the hell couldn’t I get a role after “West Side Story”? So I’m gay! So is everyone else in Hollywood.

7:23 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Jared: I hope your comment isn’t aimed at someone with the initials T.B.

7:25 [Comment From WillWill: ]
The Barbara Walters Special needs to be replaced by something that’s not so freaking boring.

7:25 Jared:
Or maybe you just shouldn’t watch the Barbara Walters special?

7:26 Jared:
I love the red carpet. Where else can you get Ryan Seacrest discussing the historical significance of Nelson Mandela with Matt Damon?

7:26 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
I’m with you Will. I’m watching it too. Terrible.

7:26 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Or maybe I should get cable.

7:26 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Demi Moore, Robin Wright, and Bradley Cooper? Way to bring out the big guns, E! “It’s F. Murray Abraham! Like you’ve never seen him before.”

7:26 Brian:
And if anyone has any suggestions on poll questions, send in a comment and I can take a look at it

7:27 Jared:
Colin Firth!

7:28 Brian:
Before the telecast starts, I strongly urge our commentariat to watch Sandra Bullocks acceptance speech at the Razzies last night. I wasn’t prepared to root for her victory tonight before, but now…I’m pro-Bullock

7:28 Jared:
Uh oh, Seacrest didn’t expect an actual intellect answer to his question to Firth. He seems floored.

7:28 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
How about — “Who was your favorite Pole” poll?

7:29 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Which category where there is a real “race” between two people (e.g. best actress) is there most likely to be a spoiler.

7:29 Brian:
Here’s a link for those interested: http://www.cinematical.com/2010/03/07/watch-this-sandra-bullocks-razzies-acceptance-speech/

7:30 Adam:
Picks can now be found here:
http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=tiQcDguFjMkDThuDeTkimKg&single=true&gid=0&output=html

7:31 Jared:
Sure, George Clooney, it is real easy to seem magnanimous about rooting for Jeff Bridges when you already have a statue, and when every single woman there would sleep with you.

7:31 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Maybe Ryan Seacrest could offer some tips from American Idol on how not to run long with inane comments.

7:31 Jared:
I kinda think Meryl Streep would be a great Oscar host.

7:32 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
(TheBob doesn’t get frustrated easily) And now, Neville Brancd ladies & gentlemen! Neville was from Griswold, IA: Neville? “Yeah. I played Capone in the TV series “The Untouchables”. But my favorite role was in one of the greatest movies of all time – “DOA” with Edmund O’Brien.” Thanks Neville.

7:32 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Suggestions for categories with likely surprises = Best Picture, Best Actress, Best Cinematography, Best Documentary

7:33 Jared:
Someone else has noticed that all the telestrators are doing is pointing at the bosom section of every dress, right?

7:34 Jared:
Jennifer Lopez knows there no excuse for the Backup Plan. None. Even Marc Anthony seems fazed, and nothing rocks that dude.

7:34 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
I’d like to see an award given for “Best Boy” and “Best Key Grip”

7:37

Whose life would you most like to have?
Ryan Seacrest
( 0% )
George Clooney
( 100% )
Meryl Streep
( 0% )
Sandra Bullock
( 0% )
Jeff Bridges
( 0% )
Alec Baldwin
( 0% )

7:39 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Here comes Donna Reed. Donna was from Denison, IA. You notice all the famous Iowans are dead? Donna?: “I got an Academy Award for “From Here to Eternity”! That Burt Lancaster was yummy! But my favorite award was my TV Land Award for “Dallas”. Thanks Donna.

7:39 Jared:
If Keanu Reeves and Brandon Routh could co-star in a movie, I would be very very happy.

7:40 Brian:
I’ve never heard Gabby Sidibe speak outside of the movie — this is hilarious. Kind of like seeing Angela from the Office outside of the TV show.

7:40 Jared:
I’m not sure anyone is having more fun than Gabby Sidibe tonight.

7:41

How awesome is Gabby Sidibe?
Really awesome
( 20% )
Stupendously awesome
( 0% )
Already the highlight of the night
( 60% )
Meh, give me more Clooney.
( 20% )

7:41 John:
Jesus it takes a long time to walk the red carpet. What happens if you have to pee?

7:41 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Wouldn’t the world be a better place if Gabby Sidibe had Jay Leno’s job?

7:41 John:
George Clooney heard that Adam shaved his beard and followed suit

7:42 Jared:
Hey, John joined the liveblog! And he’s funny!

7:43 Jared:
Few people can pull off a bowtie. Robert Downey, Jr., of course, is one of them.

7:45 Jared:
For those following at home, no, the commercial for the Backup Plan isn’t a spoof.

7:45 John:
So what happens if you’re some random animated short director? Do you get to walk the red carpet? Or do is there an entrance in the alley you use?

7:45 Brian:
but it has Anthony Anderson in it!

7:47 Adam:
This trailer for the Backup Plan actually made the movie seem more watchable than the first trailer I saw. Unfortunately, the first one was worse because it had more scenes from the movie.

7:47 Jared:
We switched to TV Guide, and James Taylor was on the red carpet. Rest assured, we’ll be sticking with E!

7:48 Adam:
I’m going to go out on a limb and predict that Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will be worse than Gervais.

7:48 Brian:
and the host thanked James Taylor for giving him many wonderful nights

7:50 Jared:
Gerard Butler is really considering just ending Ryan. I can see it in his eyes. He’s tired of this and just wants to destroy Ryan. Do it!

7:50 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Can someone here explain Gerard Butler to me?

7:52 Brian:
Just looked over the picks spreadsheet — we have 7 of the 10 Best Picture nominees represented — so someone will be happy as long as Serious Man, District 9, and Precious don’t win

7:52 Jared:
I’ll be happy if District 9 wins.

7:52 Brian:
correction: so will I

7:53 Jared:
Ryan Seacrest basically just told Jeff Bridges that he’s getting an Oscar not really for Crazy Heart, but for his body of work. It pains me to have to agree with Ryan.

7:53 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Doesn’t Marion Barry represent District 9?

7:55 Brian:
If Guiliana is brainwashing this country, then Zombieland has become eerily prescient

7:56 Jared:
For those keeping track, so far at the Oscars we’ve seen commercials for The Last Song, The Backup Plan, and The Bounty Hunter.

7:57 John:
And all will be represented at next year’s Academy Awards!

7:59 Brian:
Has anyone been clamoring for a fourth Shrek movie?

7:59 Jared:
I’m glad we are having a red carpet conversation with Cameron Diaz about Shrek. That seems pertinent.

8:00 Jared:
And Chris Pine is last on the E! Red Carpet, nice. We are switching over to ABC now.

8:00 John:
For the first time the Grouches are liveblogging the Oscars in glorious HD!

8:01 John:
The third Shrek movie was so god awful (and I loved the first two) that I’m scared for the 4th

8:01 Brian:
This montage seems surpirsingly low-tech

8:01 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Are you watching E or ABC right now?

8:01 Brian:
ABC, folks.

8:01 John:
“Live From Hollywood… the red carpet!” (note: not live)

8:01 Jared:
Kathy Ireland is really really really not cut out for this.

8:01 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Thanks Jared, all set. And hi guys! Zack says hi too.

8:02 Brian:
Kathy Ireland looked kind of like the eel-headed girl from Monsters, Inc.

8:02 John:
Why didn’t Penelope wear her costume for Nine?

8:03 Jared:
Since my dad just submitted a slightly off-color joke, maybe now is a good time to remind everyone that I’m going to be the gatekeeper for jokes. They don’t have to be clean, but they do have to be funny.

8:04 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Censorship? Jared?

8:04 Brian:
strange coincidence: Telecast is on ABC, ABC is owned by Disney, Disney produced Prince of Persia!

8:04 Jared:
Nope, editing, TheBob.

8:05 Jared:
“What made you choose this role, George?” “Well, it required no effort on my part and got me lots of praise and money. What do you think?”

8:05 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Does Prince of Persia: the movie make it next year now that the nominees have expanded to 10?

8:05 Brian:
depends on if The Backup Plan takes its spot

8:06 [Comment From Wollowitz Wollowitz : ]
Speaking of telecast, I’m wondering if there will be any commentary on the fact that New Yorkers are unable to watch the the telecast!

8:06 Jared:
Good answer about the food, Sandra, except “milkshake of some kind”? Why would you go for anything other than chocolate?

8:06 Brian:
Does New Yorkers include connecticut?

8:06 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
This host lady has How I Met Your Mother patented “crazy eyes”

8:07 Jared:
“We’ve replaced Kathy Ireland with a robot. Let’s see if anyone notices.”

8:07 Brian:
and Zack Efron has HIMYM patented Ted-Mosby Hair

8:07 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
I understand Jared’s NJ grandmother can’t watch. Unfair

8:07 [Comment From zackzack: ]
zac efron bismirchs the name zack

8:07 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Did Kathy Ireland get hired after the producers saw the MST3K version of Alien from LA?

8:08 Brian:
but its efficient! Why spell it in four letters when you can spell it in three!

8:08 Jared:
Goodness, Jane Lynch makes everything better. Even frozen food commercials.

8:09

Which Grouch are you rooting to win the pool tonight?
Jared
( 25% )
Brian
( 25% )
John
( 25% )
Adam
( 25% )

8:09 [Comment From zackzack: ]
great things shouldn’t be shunted into fewer letters, or something…

8:09 [Comment From WollowitzWollowitz: ]
CT gets NY stations and CT stations, so we’re watching New Haven ABC (not in HD though) 😦

8:10 [Comment From Ariel the FishAriel the Fish: ]
That hair is out of control. He needs a Marshall-like razor moment.

8:10 Jared:
“Matt Damon, you were nominated for an Oscar that didn’t require any acting at all. Please explain.”

8:10 John:
Matt Damon should have worn his mustache from The Informant

8:11 Jared:
“Thank you so much for talking.” Unlike…who? That hack Ebert?

8:11 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
It hasn’t been asked, but I’m wearing BVD tonight

8:11 Brian:
Aw, jared — too soon.

8:12 Brian:
but I think hed approve.

8:12 [Comment From zackzack: ]
ebert jokes…too soon

8:12 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
And Morgan Freeman is chewing Juicy Fruit gum tonight.

8:12 John:
Morgan Freeman’s earring always shocks me

8:12 [Comment From zackzack: ]
or big league chew…

8:13 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
They don’t make ’em like that anymore

8:13 [Comment From IanIan: ]
The non-Shepherd/Ireland dude is the father of the guy who does all the pre-movie preview film trailers, right?

8:13 Brian:
I’d like to dedicate tonight’s live- blogging to the latest addition to the family — my cousin had a baby today! Welcome Amira!

8:14 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Why the hell does Jennifer Lopez have anything to do with the Oscars?

8:14 Brian:
why not?

8:15 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
What the heck — Brian — Are the nephews & nieces coming out every month now?

8:15 Jared:
Sarah Jessica Parker’s are not unlike the button eyes from Coraline. Just saying.

8:16 Brian:
its a cousin this time — no more nieces or nephews on the way……yet…… right, Wollys?

8:16 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Congrats Wolly! And Cameron is really really tall.

8:16 [Comment From WollowitzWollowitz: ]
From CT: Not unless you know something we don’t!

8:17 Jared:
Maybe I’m alone, but I think Remember Me has some potential.

8:17 John:
Have we seen a movie commercial that doesn’t look awful?

8:17 Jared:
Haha, thanks John.

8:17 Brian:
you’re alone

8:17 Jared:
But John, Emilie de Ravin is from Brick!

8:17 [Comment From TimTim: ]
Jared, if you’re not alone, you should be.

8:18 [Comment From WollowitzWollowitz: ]
Is this “pre-game” show supposed to be entertaining? I rate it 2 out of 10.

8:18 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Hmmm “Wollowitz”. “Wolly”. Hmmm. Jared – Do you get paid per comment of mine you delete?

8:18 Brian:
ABC should have given the whole half-hour pre-show to Gabby Sidibe fistbumping everyone.

8:19 [Comment From Ariel the FishAriel the Fish: ]
Where is Steve and Alec? Let’s get this party started!

8:19 [Comment From IanIan: ]
I was actually interested in Remember Me too, until NYMag spoiled it. It’s really kind of repulsive.

8:19 John:
Well now I’m intrigued, Ian. Repulsive? Interesting!

8:19 Jared:
I’m publishing all these commercials because I”m really trying to distract myself from this Whoopi commercial.

8:20 John:
I also think it’s interesting they’re advertising it using such an old pop song. Dear John did the same thing. Do they just not make good sappy pop songs any more?

8:21 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
To Jared: Now I know how Lenny Bruce felt. (Before the drugs of course)

8:22 John:
If anyone besides Tina Fey and Steve Carell were in Date Night I’d have no interest. But now I’m conflicted

8:22 John:
Miley Cyrus is looking for “different roles.” So she starred in a dram where she falls in love through the power of music

8:22 [Comment From WillWill: ]
You guys going to release the list of everyone’s pick soon?

8:23 Jared:
How does Jeff Bridges pick a role? First script that comes to the mailbox when the alcohol money runs out.

8:23 Brian:
Kristen Stewart looks so uninterested everytime she is on camera

8:24 Jared:
So far I think Kate Winslet has looked the classiest on the red carpet.

8:24 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
jared, its weed money, come on remember the big lebowski?

8:24 Jared:
OK, who on earth did Kathy Ireland beat out to get this job? I think that Oscar statue in the background is doing a better job.

8:24 Brian:
Oh my god! She texts!

8:25 John:
Honest Movie Titles and new posters for the best pic nominees: http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1802286

8:25 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Props to everyone who picked avatar

8:25 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Did Kathy just make an interview with Gabby Sidibe boring? She’s truly the worst.

8:25 [Comment From EmilyEmily: ]
Jared, seriously? Kate Winslet looks like she is from the future where skirts and pants are the same thing.

8:26 Jared:
Skirts and pants are…different?

8:26 Brian:
what about Skorts?

8:26 [Comment From EmilyEmily: ]
Not to her, apparently

8:26 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Chris March! Go Project Runway contestants!

8:27 Jared:
Everyone pumped for the Oscars?

8:27 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
to think…at one time kathy ireland was a…sex symbol.

8:28 John:
Are we ready??

8:28 John:
Can you feel the excrement??

8:29 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Oh sure — that one goes and 25% of my witty remarks don’t

8:29 Jared:
TheBob: I suppose that technically 25% of 0 is 0.

8:30 Brian:
Here we go, folks!

8:30 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
I’m amending my will. Not sure but maybe that means Will needs to amend his Bob

8:31 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Have they ever done this before?

8:31 [Comment From EmilyEmily: ]
Ooooh–Charlize Theron looks like she is reprising her role as Rita in that dress!

8:32 John:
That opening was entirely useless

8:32 Jared:
NPH!!!

8:32 Brian:
So in a new move, they introduced the nominees for best actor/actress on the podium before the monologue

8:33 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
My imagination or is Neil Patrick Harris frolicking more than he used to?

8:33 Brian:
And now there’s a NPH musical song to open things off — very odd.

8:33 Adam:
Damn it…the Academy scores and early point with the move to have NPH do the opening number.

8:33 John:
This song is … not good

8:33 [Comment From TimTim: ]
neither is his jacket. yikes.

8:33 [Comment From IanIan: ]
This is so good in theory.

8:33 John:
NPH is great but this song is awful.

8:33 Brian:
And its not really clear why Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin aren’t doing this.

8:34 [Comment From EmilyEmily: ]
Brian, is it really a monologue when there are two hosts?

8:34

Is this monologue/opener any good?
Oof. God no.
( 42% )
Seen worse
( 25% )
I could take it or leave it.
( 17% )
Funny — but forgettable
( 8% )
Hilarious and fantastic
( 8% )

8:34 Jared:
When we run long tonight, just keep these wasted five minutes in mind.

8:36 Adam:
Excellent point by Steve Martin. Meryl Streep is the biggest loser in Oscar history.

8:37 Brian:
Yikes….this is painful.

8:37 Adam:
This is painful to watch. When were these guys fun?

8:37 [Comment From IanIan: ]
The monologue is exceptionally Vilanch-y tonight.

8:37 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Agreed. I love Steve Martin but this is really painful

8:37 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Wow…. people in the room with me are remarking how awkward this is.

8:38 Jared:
Ok, ragging on Meryl Streep is brilliant.

8:38 Brian:
Meryl Streep jokes are always funny. They even make Hitler jokes funny.

8:38 John:
So were the first half dozen jokes purposefully bad to make the Hitler and threesome jokes funnier?

8:38 Adam:
When are Hitler jokes not funny?

8:39 Brian:
Nice, a Jerk reference.

8:39 Adam:
One that didn’t involve me….

8:39 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
I dunno. The monologue isn’t that bad.

8:39 Jared:
True, it is definitely rallying.

8:39 Adam:
You’ve been in Iowa too long, TB

8:39 Jared:
Zombieland reference!

8:40 [Comment From IanIan: ]
“You were told that you were poor, worthless, and nobody liked you.” “Hey, that’s what I told my daughter too!”

8:40 Brian:
Sam Worthington is not amused by Avatar jokes

8:41 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Wow. JC and Kathryn Bigelow sitting RIGHT NEXT TO EACHOTHER.

8:41 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Jared: Can you please collate all my edited comments? I want to send them in to Letterman.

8:43 [Comment From WollowitzWollowitz: ]
Bring Billy Crystal back!

8:43 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Taylor looks like the new Ricky Martin

8:43 [Comment From TimTim: ]
Does Taylor Lautner look just like Matt Damon or is it just me?

8:43 Adam:
I miss Ricky Gervais.

8:44 John:
These jokes are just not clever with no bite to them.

8:44 Brian:
except for the Holocaust ones

8:44 Jared:
The first six or seven minutes of this thing had me worried, but I’m much more comfortable about where this night is going to go. Great second half of the monologue.

8:44 [Comment From WollowitzWollowitz: ]
Why is Clooney so unhappy?

8:44 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Ask for the Green Card. See what happens

8:45 John:
Supporting Actor: All four of us chose Waltz as our winner

8:45 Jared:
They piped in that applause for Matt Damon.

8:45

Who do you want to win the Best Supporting Actor?
Christoph Waltz
( 0% )
Christopher Plummer
( 0% )
Matt Damon
( 0% )
Woody Harrelson
( 0% )
Stanley Tucci
( 0% )

8:46 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Wow, maybe they could save time tonight by not using half-hour long packages?

8:46 Brian:
I’m going to be WAY off on my time estimate.

8:46 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
That’s ok — they’ just cut the acceptance speeches to 5 seconds

8:47 Jared:
Some great facial hair in this category.

8:47 John:
I prefer clips to last year’s technique of other actors talking about the nominees.

8:48 Jared:
So for Waltz, to make it seem more fair, they grabbed his worst clips from the film.

8:48 Brian:
That being said, it is a lot of fun watching Christoph Waltz ham it up again.

8:48 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Will there be another? Or do you think this is the Last Waltz?

8:48 Jared:
TheBob, reporting from The Catskills, IA.

8:49 Adam:
Uber Bingo…couldn’t have said it better myself.

8:50 [Comment From TimTim: ]
I really like the Columbus comparison. Much more interesting than the normal speech.

8:50 Jared:
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz

8:50 [Comment From IanIan: ]
BTW: ABC here in New York says that they just came to a deal with Cablevision. For those who enjoy the business that we call show.

8:51 Brian:
Blind Side montage shows pretty much all the football they showed in the actual movie.

8:52 Jared:
I’m not sure that montage changed anyone’s mind about The Blind Side.

8:52 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
What’s with Clooney?

8:52 Brian:
They should do live voting like they did on America’s Funniest Home Videos

8:53 Brian:
I know, Lucy, he looks seriously bored/uninterested

8:53 Jared:
Only if it means Bob Saget hosts the awards.

8:53 [Comment From WollowitzWollowitz: ]
Ian, thanks for the info…just switched to HD!

8:53 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
If they were really going for reality they would have cast Stevie Wonder in “The Blind Side”.

8:53 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
He looks really pissed actually, like he’d rather be doing anything else!

8:54 Brian:
I still cant believe I just realized that Bob Saget is the voice on HIMYM — to go off on a tangent.

8:54 Jared:

(For the record, Brian is through 3 seasons of HIMYM.)

8:54 John:
George Clooney says: “Why are we here celebrating ourselves when we could be off buying the new ‘We are the World’ off iTunes over and over to help Haiti?”

8:55 Brian:
Maybe Clooney just got out of finally seeing The Last Station

8:56 Jared:
Cameron Diaz and Steve Carell?  Where’s Tina Fey?

8:56 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
You guys probably don’t agree, but I think Steve Carrell is a one-joke guy with not a lot of depth.

8:57 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Maybe Clooney is pissed that he’s a fox

8:57 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Cameron Diaz has finally turned into Joey Lauren Adams.

8:58 Brian:
This animated film clip is kind of funny — but yet more evidence that this show is going way past 11:30

8:58 John:
Haha these animated clips are funny

8:58 Jared:
And, par for the course, Up is funnier than anything else.

8:58 Brian:
SQUIRREL!

8:59 Adam:
Holy shit…we finally got to another award.

8:59 Jared:

Best Animated Feature: Up

8:59 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
I think I picked wrong on my sheet, I don’t know what I was thinking, of course Up is going to win

8:59 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
was not a fan of coraline in the least.

8:59 John:
They’ve gone back to saying “and the winner is…”

8:59 Jared:
Pete Docter looks not unlike Frankenstein’s Monster.

9:00 John:
Pete has his Ellie Badge on

9:00 [Comment From WillWill: ]
My god his head is so narrow.

9:01 Brian:
Sighfred? is that how you pronounce Seyfried? My world is rocked.

9:01 Jared:
If only she rocked mine.

9:01 Adam:
Too women whose looks are over-rated.

9:01 John:
Song: Jared and John both chose “The Weary Kind” as our winners

9:01 Jared:
So is English, huh Adam?

9:01 Adam:
*Two

9:01 Brian:
one of the funniest moments of Zombieland: When Abigail Breslin explains Hannah Montana to Woody Harrelson

9:01 Adam:
Bad English counts.

9:02 Jared:
“No, she’s Hannah Montana when she’s wearing the wig.”

9:02 [Comment From IanIan: ]
It’s pronounced “Lilly Kane.”

9:02 John:
(This is not how the song is used in the film)

9:02 Brian:
yes, I will take any chance I can to make a Zombieland reference

9:03 Brian:
I still wish that Marion Cotillard were nominated over Penelope Cruz

9:03 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Zombieland is better than how many of this year’s nominees? I count nine.

9:03 Jared:
(10, actually)

9:04 Jared:
Best Original Song: “The Weary Kind”

9:04 Jared:
If only the rest of the songs in the film lived up to that one.

9:04 John:
The orchestral version of “The Weary Kind” is interesting

9:04 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Yariv just said – “Does he have a medical issue that he needs to wear sunglasses indoors?”

9:05 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
How could a parent name a kid T-Bone? I should have named Jared “Hamburger”

9:05 [Comment From IanIan: ]
FWIW, if they don’t mention Stephen Bruton, I’d like to. Go out and listen to some Alejandro Escovedo albums, or Stephen Bruton’s music itself after this.

9:05 John:
It only would’ve been better if they had a chance to perform

9:05 Jared:
Are they doing these awards in some sort of reverse order of lockiness?

9:06 Brian:
You know Mo’Nique’s speech is going to be epic, so I can see holding off til the end.

9:06 Jared:
Chris Pine introduced District 9 because…their names rhyme.

9:06 John:
Curious that they give Chris Pine the task of introducing District 9, a sci-fi film that very possibly squeezed out his own film, Star Trek

9:06 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
did anyone else think district 9 was terrible? or was i the only one? i know i might be.

9:06 Jared:
Charlie is alone.

9:07 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
haha damn you jared! and may i be the 9th person today to tell you it’s your pick? 😉

9:07 Jared:
Only second, Charlie!  And the only that takes a backseat to fantasy baseball is The Oscars!

9:07 Brian:
sorry charlie — and why did you let jared pick Matt Wieters — you know you could have gotten the world from him in a trade.

9:08 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
I liked District 9. I enjoyed the film. I saw it in Iowa so the monsters were made up to look like folks from the East Coast.

9:08 Brian:
I’m kind of surprised we haven’t seen any major advertisements yet — Oscars is usually the second most watched telecast each year

9:09 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Actually I like the 5-second delay. I can take a nap, wake up, then just wait a little more to see my comment. Maybe.

9:10 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
and brian, i have no stones to throw…i traded up this year to take jason heyward with the #1 pick. rebuidin’ time!

9:10 [Comment From IanIan: ]
But Brian, Diet Coke just blew up a trailer! For some reason!

9:11 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Just saw a local car commercial here in Des Moines advertising the 1987 Ford Taurus. HELP!

9:11 Brian:
So….40 mins in, and 3 awards. Way to go Academy.

9:12 Adam:
Explain to me again why people think Alec Baldwin is funny.

9:12 Jared:

I bet Robert Downey, Jr. and Tina Fey would be a lot of fun to hang out with.

9:12 Adam:
Agreed.

9:13 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
tina fey is such a babe.

9:13 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
To put a feminine touch on this liveblog, Tina Fey’s dress is gorgeous

9:13 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Now I know where I’ve seen that bowtie! Soupy Sales!

9:13 John:
Original Screenplay: John, Jared, Brian chose Up; Adam Inglourious Basterds

9:14 John:
This is the same thing Tina Fey did last year, more or less

9:14 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Best jokes of the night

9:14

Who do you want to win Best Original Screenplay
Inglourious Basterds
( 43% )
A Serious Man
( 14% )
The Hurt Locker
( 0% )
The Messenger
( 0% )
Up
( 43% )

9:15 Jared:

Tom McCarthy is definitely the secret weapon for the Up script, I’m convinced.

9:15 Jared:
Best Original Screenplay: The Hurt Locker

9:16 Jared:
Huge, huge mistake.

9:16 Adam:
Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck….stupid Academy. No taste whatsoever

9:16 Brian:
awww, no Up or Basterd love. Thats pretty disappointing.

9:16 John:
And here starts the Hurt Locker sweep

9:17 Jared:
No fooling that Oscar belongs to Bigelow, dude.  Your script was bupkis without her.

9:17 John:
Nice speech for Mark Boal

9:17 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Tom McCarthy! Station Agent is better than how many of the nominated movies? I’d say 10 again.

9:17 Brian:
I smell a montage!!!

9:17 Jared:
Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick to introduce the much-talked about Hughes remembrance.

9:18 Brian:
It’d be great if they included the Jay and Silent Bob clip from Dogma.

9:20

What’s your favorite John Hughes movie?
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
( 64% )
Sixteen Candles
( 9% )
Breakfast Club
( 18% )
Pretty in Pink
( 0% )
Home Alone
( 9% )
National Lamppon’s Vacation
( 0% )

9:21 [Comment From IanIan: ]
The Oscars are even making this boring. Good work, guys.

9:22 Brian:
I’m with Ian, that was a pretty mediocre montage. But here’s the John Hughes kids — can we blame him for Two and a Half Men though?

9:23 Jared:
Any guesses on how many Oscar noms John Hughes got?

9:23 John:
zero?

9:23 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Jared, Leila is here, and she is on the verge of shedding a tear.

9:23 Jared:
Well done, John.

9:23 John:
Samuel L Jackson talks about Up! Nice

9:23 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Zack says good montage, and Wolly’s jaded

9:24 Jared:
What a great film.

9:25 John:
I love Kevin!

9:25 John:
Samuel L Jackson narrated Inglourious Basterds too

9:25

9:25 Brian:
It’s funny because the squirrel got dead:

9:26 [Comment From AliceAlice: ]
Thanks for reminding John about that joke, Brian

9:27 John:
Oh I remembered!

9:28 Brian:
I liked Carey Mulligan more as a brunette, but that accent is so adorable.

9:29 [Comment From AliceAlice: ]
Brian, did you like her better as a brunette or a 17-year-old?

9:29 Brian:
Alice, that hurts.

9:30 John:
Anyone want to go through the short winners and see how they did after their win? I suspect the people on screen now are outliers

9:30 Adam:
Awesome, Alice.

9:30 Jared:

Glad we got our requisite Emily Blunt Oscar night shoutout.

9:30 [Comment From AliceAlice: ]
I tease because I love, Brian

9:30 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Why are we spending time on this?

9:30 Jared:

Because shorts totally matter, Lucy!

9:31 John:
I think it’s interesting since shorts never get any attention

9:31 Jared:
We’ve had some comment love for Zoe Saldana, and I dunno.  Carey or Zoe?  That’s a tough call.

9:31 John:
Animated Short: Brian and Jared chose The Lady and the Reaper as their winner

9:31 Jared:
If you all ever have a change to see The Lady and the Reaper, please do.  Might be the funniest five minutes of film this year.

9:32 Jared:
Best Animated Short: Logorama

9:32 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
It depends who’s wearing the shorts!

9:32 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
I think shorts in some way are harder to do well, so I agree that the love for them is good

9:32 Brian:
Good. Nick Park shouldnt be rewarded for a mediocre effort.

9:32 John:
Ooh, upset! I don’t think Wallace and Grommit have ever lost!

9:33 John:
The Lady and the Reaper on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9CQDKt8LVo

9:33 Adam:
Even worse than not getting this category correct…they gave the award to the French. Unacceptable.

9:33 Jared:

This was actually a bad short, thought a pretty genius idea.  Saw a few prognosticators go with it as an upset.

9:33 Brian:
I disagree on it being “bad” but it did fail to live up to its potential.

9:33 John:
Logorama on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRUseeBPuhM

9:34 Jared:
Best Documentary Short: Music by Prudence

9:34 John:
I don’t think I saw anyone predict Music by Prudence!

9:34 Jared:
And I gotta believe there is not a single perfect ballot left out their in the world.

9:35 Brian:
I think Suzanne only picked this one because she loves “Dear, Prudence”

9:35 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
This woman needs to go back to her condo in Florida

9:35 Brian:
hahahaha, right on Bob

9:35 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
This woman is so annoying and she is wearing a huge purple mu mu

9:35 John:
I believe this is a film about disabled African singers

9:35 [Comment From IanIan: ]
That was a mercy play off.

9:36 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
So do cows wear people people?

9:36 John:
Live Action Short: Jared and Brian chose The New Tenants as their winner

9:36 Jared:

Best Live Action Short: The New Tenants

9:36 [Comment From EmilyEmily: ]
hey i called the docu short right! (though i’m not getting credit for it on the spreadsheet….)

9:37 Jared:
For the record, John is talking about our Want to Wins, not Will Wins.

9:37 Brian:
and I’m shocked that the academy got this one right, because The New Tenants is really trippy and weird — good for them.

9:37 Jared:

No clue how this one managed to get the win, I guess maybe because Hollywood recognized the actors in it?

9:37 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
That guy’s name is “TV”?? I guess folks used to be named “Radio”

9:37 Jared:
But yeah, tremendous stuff by the Academy there.

9:38 John:
It’s always awful when they play off a guy who hadn’t talked at all yet

9:38 [Comment From TimTim: ]
maybe the first presenter ever to have a tail

9:39 [Comment From Leah Leah : ]
oh no…..here starts the avatar jokes….

9:39 [Comment From IanIan: ]
This joke would have gone over so much better if he didn’t explain it.

9:39 John:
Makeup: John chose Star Trek as his favored winner

9:40 John:
Go see Il Divo! It’s absolutely unintelligible!

9:41 Adam:
It’s not in English John. You have to read the subtitles.

9:41 John:
Ha, their clips for Young Victoria are combing hair and cleavage makeup

9:41 Jared:
Best Makeup: Star Trek

9:41 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
star trek should win to make up for not being nominated for best picture. what a travesty

9:42 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
This guy has Dom DeLuise’s hat. I guess Dom doesn’t need it

9:43 [Comment From zackzack: ]
the travesty was that Moon wasn’t nominated, though trek was great, but not best pic great

9:43 Jared:

Jeff Bridge is (not) A Serious Man

9:44 John:
Was that four awards plus a John Hughes montage between commercial breaks?

9:44 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
now here’s a movie that deserved to be nominated. don’t think it should win though. it was quite good though. intense.

9:44 Brian:
Hah — this is probably the best clip of the best pictures that we’ve seen so far.

9:44 John:
Aw, Michael Stuhlbarg got to come. Good for him

9:45

Who should win Best Supporting Actress?
Mo”Nique
( 100% )
Anna Kendrick
( 0% )
Vera Farmiga
( 0% )
Penelope Cruz
( 0% )
Maggie Gyllenhall
( 0% )

9:45 Jared:
I kinda think Michael Stuhlbarg looks like Elijah Wood.

9:47 Jared:

A big thanks to Adam for maintaining the pick ’em spreadsheet, John for doing the standings, and Brian for doing the polls.

9:47 [Comment From AaronAaron: ]
The Golden Grouches pick-em game was rigged

9:47 Brian:
I think Aaron deserves special credit for getting 0 right so far.

9:48 Jared:
Rachael McAdams really deserves to have a better career.

9:48 John:
Adapted Screenplay: We all chose In the Loop as our preferred winner

9:48

Who should win for Best Adapted Screenplay
Up in the Air
( 17% )
Precious
( 17% )
District 9
( 17% )
In the Loop
( 50% )
An Education
( 0% )

9:48 [Comment From EmilyEmily: ]
you guys all deserve credit for being more entertaining than my civil procedure reading. thank you.

9:49 Brian:
Emily, I think The Lovely Bones would be more entertaining than your reading

9:49 Jared:
Oh, guys, if you haven’t seen In the Loop, please do.  You won’t regret it.

9:49 John:
Awful In the Loop clip. Probably the only non-profane clip though

9:50 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
in the loop was hysterical. not sure i laughed harder all year

9:50 John:
Ooh, so is Up in the Air going to be completely shut out?

9:50 Jared:
Best Adapted Screenplay: Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

9:50 Jared:
So that was a huge surprise.

9:51 Jared:

Apparently you only need to write two good characters to win this thing?  I don’t understand.

9:51 Brian:
and apparently I wasnt kidding when I wrote in my first email that we didnt know what we were talking about

9:51 Jared:
Our commenters have mentioned a few issues with the spreadsheet, we are working them now.  Thanks!

9:52 John:
Ah ha! They play her on with music from Hairspray!

9:53 [Comment From TimTim: ]
with her weight fluctuations, she is becoming more and more indistinguishable from oprah every day

9:53 [Comment From IanIan: ]
So, this is kind of terrible, even for an Oscar production, no? And I thought Adam Shankman seemed so likeable on So You Think You Can Dance.

9:54 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Oh — we’re letting more risque stuff in, eh? I’ll come back and blog some more.

9:54 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Movie buffs, what was Lauren Bacall referring to?

9:54 John:
I believe Geoffrey Fletcher was a film professor until recently. He’s been telling a story this year about lining up to get Quentin Tarantino’s autograph at a store a few years ago, and now they’re nominated in the same awards season. And now Fletcher has an Oscar

9:54 Brian:
Queen Latifah mastered her fake laugh from her days on Living Single

9:55 Jared:

“Here are some awards we gave out, but they weren’t as important as Ben Stiller.”

9:55 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
They should have interviewed Lauren Bacall on the Red Carpet. What a classy (and Jewish) lady. Betty Persky. You gotta love her.

9:55 John:
Was it two years ago they gave one of these honorary oscars to an Italian production designer in his 90s who only spoke Italian and the whole show screeched to a halt?

9:56 Brian:
I’m pretty sure that was Ennio Morricone

9:56 John:
Supporting Actress: Jared, Brian, John chose Mo’Nique; Adam chose Penelope Cruz as our preferred winners

9:57 John:
Robin Williams steps in for Heath Ledger to award Supporting Actress

9:57 [Comment From IanIan: ]
It’s nice of everyone to stand and applaud for Roger Corman like that. I assume it’s for It Conquered The World?

9:57 John:
Also, Vera Farmiga = awesome!!

9:57 Jared:
That was as quick as her character jumped into bed with Bridges.

9:58 Brian:
John, as someone who defended Farmiga in The Departed, I still cant figure out your love for her in this one.

9:58 Adam:
God, Jared. You have to say “spoiler”!

9:59 Jared:
Man, it is good to be reminded of how not close this race is.

9:59 Jared:
Best Supporting Actress: Mo’Nique

10:01 Brian:
Very touching speech — but I definitely was not expecting her to thank her lawyer.

10:01 Jared:
Mo’Nique – speech of the night.

10:01 John:
Nice speech. But her Golden Globes one was better, no?

10:01 Jared:
Colin Firth introduces An Education because…he’s also British!

10:02 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
She was exactly right to thank Hattie McDaniel. It certainly wasn’t easy.

10:02 Jared:
(And, as Brian points out, Firth starred in the original Fever Pitch.)

10:02 [Comment From TimTim: ]
if anyone knows which letters the apostrophe in Mo’Nique’s name replaces, please share with the group.

10:02 Brian:
the apostrophe is silent

10:03 John:
We’re halfway through the runtime but only through 10 categories

10:03 Jared:
“Coming up: Tyler Perry, Sarah Jessica Parker, and a salute to horror movies.”  So, um, who didn’t change the channel?

10:03 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
It was from an earlier post —- the letter “e” – as in Moe

10:03

What grade would you give the Oscars so far?
A
( 0% )
B
( 20% )
C
( 50% )
D
( 10% )
E
( 10% )
Thats right, MoCo kids dont use the F
( 10% )

10:04 [Comment From WillWill: ]
I just discovered that the URL to Lauren Bacall’s IMDB page is http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000002/

10:04 [Comment From WillWill: ]
FYI, Fred Astaire is http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000001/

10:04 Brian:
and can Sean Connery please be 000000007?

10:05 Brian:
awww, its Bogart. Damn.

10:06 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Is this where the Avatar awards begin?

10:06 John:
Art Direction: where the nominees are the Production Designers and Set Decorators, but not the Art Directors

10:07 Jared:
Best Art Direction: Avatar

10:07 Jared:
Just a complete coincidence that Sigourney Weaver was up there presenting.

10:08 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Whoa intense. I was going to die but instead I got an Oscar. That’s a heavy way to start a speech!

10:09 Brian:
wait what are Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin doing up there? Are they hosting the Oscars?

10:09 Jared:
Oh, hey, another joke about Steve Martin misreading a teleprompter.

10:09 John:
Oh my god these jokes are awful

10:09 John:
Costume: Jared chooses Bright Star as his winner

10:09 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
They’re not so bad. Alec Baldwin is just a WASP trying to play the Borscht Belt.

10:09 [Comment From IanIan: ]
I don’t think “clotheshorses” is any more charitable to SJP.

10:10 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
She looks like the Statue of Liberty.

10:10 Brian:
did anyone see the Imaginarium of dr. parnassus?

10:10 [Comment From GavinGavin: ]
Can we get a The Bob spin-off blog?

10:10 Jared:

Best Costume Design: The Young Victoria

10:11 John:
This whole “the winner is” thing is messing with my mind. They haven’t said that since, I believe, 1989

10:11 John:
I saw Dr Parnassus. It’s kind of a mess

10:11 [Comment From TimTim: ]
you’d think a costume designer would have a less hideous dress

10:11 [Comment From TheBobTheBob: ]
Gavin! Thank God you’re here! I’m killing them with my jokes but I can’t feel the love

10:11 Adam:
Best opening for a speech…ever. “Well, I already have two of these…”

10:11 Jared:

Good point, Sandy Powell.  I think you stole it from my blog post.

10:12 Jared:
Charlize Theron introducing Precious because…um, she’s from Africa?

10:12 Brian:
Charlize Theron really wanted us to focus on her dress…I think its hypnotizing me.

10:12 John:
Because she played a white version Precious in Monster

10:13 [Comment From GavinGavin: ]
I’m sure everyone is secretly loving The Bob’s jokes. Can’t be much worse than the show on TV…

10:14 Adam:
I would have rated Precious a LOT higher if she started killing everyone in sight.

10:14 Jared:
If only John Woo had directed!

10:15 Brian:
stretch break for the Oscars

10:18 John:
I’m going to guess most of the people in the auditorium did not see Paranormal Activity

10:19 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Kristen Stewart is so awkward and needs to stand up straight

10:19 John:
So this show is going to be over in 70 minutes, right?

10:20 [Comment From TimTim: ]
John: untrue, Robin Williams has already been on stage

10:20 [Comment From IanIan: ]
I think my love for KStew from Adventureland finally expired tonight.

10:21 John:
Hope everyone already knows the ending to Rosemary’s Baby. Because if they didn’t they do now

10:22 Brian:
Where’s the Jennfier’s Body clip?

10:22 Jared:
So, um, apparently after 1990, “horror” took on a different definition.

10:23 John:
They introduce the montage by saying horror hasn’t had a place at the Oscars since the Exorcist. Then they include Silence of the Lambs in the montage

10:24 Brian:
Good point, John. And while this is fascinating for Oscar dorks like us — not sure to what extent this is going to keep people interested in watching

10:24 Jared:
OK, this explanation of the sound categories was fascinating.

10:24 John:
It’s kind of nice they do an explanation of the sound categories

10:24 Brian:
quit stealing my adjectives

10:25 [Comment From ZACK ZACK : ]
yeah, that was great

10:25 Jared:
Best Sound Editing: The Hurt Locker

10:25 John:
The Hurt Locker sweep is on

10:25 Jared:
It is the doctor from Funny People!

10:25 Brian:
I’m choking so terribly on this Oscar pool. Nice pick, jared.

10:26 [Comment From EddieEddie: ]
Omg it’s the bad guy from Saw

10:26 [Comment From ZACKZACK: ]
he was much scarier in die hard

10:26 John:
If the Hurt Locker wins that guy’s going to have to come from backstage to get another statue

10:27 Jared:
Best Sound Mixing: The Hurt Locker

10:27 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
the bad guy comes back from the dead? just like he did in die hard!

10:28 Brian:
I think the Costume Design winner could take a note from these guys.

10:28 Jared:

Huge wins for Hurt Locker there.

10:28 Jared:
Elizabeth Banks!  Hubba hubba.

10:28 Brian:
Elizabeth Banks wins dress of the night for me.

10:28 [Comment From IanIan: ]
I wasn’t a huge fan of The Hurt Locker, but it had fantastic sound, I agree. Well done, Academy.

10:29 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
man, cameron is gonna be pissed…king of the world, not so much!

10:29 Brian:
Oh dear lord, this is the fortune cookie I just got: “Catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come for miles to watch you burn.”

10:29 John:
Ray Beckett’s filmography is full of movies I’ve never heard of. And now he has a Sound Mixing Oscar!

10:29 Jared:
John Travolta introduces Inglourious Basterds because…well, OK, this one is obvious.

10:30 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Elizabeth Banks adds so much value over the average Sci/Tech presenting starlet. Like, say, a personality.

10:30 Brian:
Who is the hottest dance troupe on TV?

10:31 [Comment From EddieEddie: ]
That’s it, I’m coming to dc to burn your apartment down Brian

10:32 Brian:
Eddie, why do you have to hate on Jared like that?

10:32 [Comment From WollowitzWollowitz: ]
Glee?

10:33 John:
I read hype about how the actors would be introduced by actors they knew (unlike last year when it was various ex-winners). I guess instead they are doing that for Best Picture

10:33 Jared:

So, we’ve seen commercials for Yaz and Poise tonight…maybe we could get a John Deere ad or something?

10:33 Brian:
and cervical cancer too, jared.

10:33 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
Brian…man card, pllease

10:33 John:
That table covered in pizza looked DELICIOUS!

10:34 Jared:
Morena Baccarin!  If you want to see her topless, check out the first ten minutes of Death in Love!

10:34 Jared:
Then please do not watch the rest of it.

10:35 [Comment From WollowitzWollowitz: ]
Anyone know when the memorium segment is? Falling asleep!

10:35 John:
Cinematography: John chose Avatar as his preferred winner

10:35 Brian:
The Wollys love their in memorium montages

10:35 Jared:
Sandra Bullock is legitimately funny.  I think people underrate this.

10:36 Jared:
Best Cinematography: Avatar

10:36 John:
They really blew through that category

10:36 Brian:
I’ll remind everyone to go watch her Razzies speech from last night as proof of this.

10:36 [Comment From Zack Zack : ]
lucy agrees with jared about bullock

10:37 Jared:

Stephen Lang got a ticket?

10:37 Brian:
Hey Wollowitz, I think your memorium request is coming up.

10:38 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
get the kleenex

10:38 Brian:
James Taylor died this year?!

10:38 [Comment From IanIan: ]
I guess they gave away the game on the pimp spot for this year’s in memoriam.

10:39 Brian:
They really glossed over Swayze — a shame

10:40 [Comment From EddieEddie: ]
Billy mays? Michael Jackson? Ed mcmahon ?

10:41 Jared:
Not sure how I felt about James Taylor covering “In My Life” there.  Felt a bit off.

10:43

This Oscars is really boring.
Strongly Agree
( 43% )
Agree
( 29% )
It’s better than Leno
( 14% )
Disagree
( 14% )
Strongly Disagree
( 0% )

10:43 [Comment From EddieEddie: ]
Actually the James Taylor bit reminded me of that West Wing episode

10:44

The Grouches make this Oscars even better.
True
( 13% )
Very True.
( 88% )

10:44 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
well, if that the case it should have been buckey’s hallalujah

10:45 Jared:
Jennifer Lopez and Sam Worthington, together at last!

10:45 [Comment From AaronAaron: ]
I caught up to Ms. The Bob

10:46 Brian:
Dancing to the scores ? Not sure what I feel about this, but if it means longer score excerpts — thats a plus.

10:46 Jared:
We are stunned that Sam Worthington is Australian.

10:46 Brian:
Nothing gets people excited at quarter to 11 quite like interpretative dance

10:46 John:
At least this dance sequence has some connection to the show. Unlike last year’s awful “salute to musicals”

10:47 [Comment From EddieEddie: ]
And interpreting avatar is Apollo Anton ohno

10:47 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
is this oscars better or worse than last years?

10:48 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
i get it, he’s like a bomb!

10:48 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Wow – best score nominees getting comparable treatment to best song in previous years.

10:48 John:
This dance reminds me of The Hurt Locker. Totally.

10:48 John:
As a show, this Oscars is significantly worse

10:48 [Comment From suzannesuzanne: ]
Wow! I have 9!

10:48 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Don’t you get it? BOMBS POP AND LOCK TOO!

10:48 [Comment From suzannesuzanne: ]
I didn’t like James Taylor singing Beatles. I don’t like anyone else singing Beatles.

10:49 John:
These dances don’t even fit the music, let alone the films.

10:49 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
which one is this, i missed it

10:49 John:
that was fantastic mr fox

10:50 Jared:
I loved the robot in Up!

10:50 John:
Remember when Up was about some sort of robot?

10:50 [Comment From WillWill: ]
NO WAY – UP TOTALLY MADE ME WANT TO DO THE ROBOT ALSO.

10:50 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
suzanne not sure if you caught the news…the beatles broke up

10:51 John:
If Adam Shankman can’t even make the dance numbers interesting he needs to be fired

10:51 Jared:
I think this sequence took the Oscars down an entire letter grade for me.

10:51 Brian:
Shankman also failed at the opening musical number

10:52 [Comment From WillWill: ]
I really think a big banner is going to come up and be like, “GAP CHRISTMASWEAR – 2010!”

10:52 John:
Best Original Score: Brian and John chose Up as their preferred winner

10:52 Jared:
Best Original Score: Up

10:53 Brian:
this is probably the first award of the night that I’m actually very happy with — Michael Giacchino is Pixar’s rockstar.

10:53 John:
Aw, Michael Giacchino has his Ellie Badge on too

10:54 Jared:
Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper starred in a combined like seven non-Oscar nominated movies this year.

10:55 Jared:
Best Visual Effects: Avatar

10:55 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
blind side totally got visual effects!

10:56 John:
Did you stay through the credits of Avatar? There are HUNDREDS of people listed in the visual effects section. I was impressed by the credits writers!

10:56 Brian:
you make no sense, Zack. On the other hand, I’m generally pretty surprised when these visual effects guys arent huge nerds like the cast of Big Bang theory

10:56 Jared:

Jason Bateman introduces Up in the Air because…he was in it!

10:57 John:
Is this the first guy to present who was actually in the movie he’s presenting?

10:57 Brian:
I think so John — so weird. Maybe Aaron Eckhart was busy?

10:57 Jared:
If I remember correctly, yeah.

10:58 Jared:
The ties between presenter and movie haven’t been quite as cute as Adam Shankman led me to believe.

10:58 John:
Nothing like a segue out of Up in the Air using the Inglourious Basterds score

11:00 Brian:
Modern Family ad!!! Sophie Vergara is great. Casablanca!!!

11:00 Jared:
Oh Modern Family, why are you so good?

11:00 Jared:
What is this place?

11:00 Brian:
the Oscars should have had Phil and Cliare Dunphy host the show

11:02 Brian:
I really want to see The Cove, but god does it look depressing.

11:03 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
I agree about The Cove, yikes

11:04 [Comment From GuestGuest: ]
The Cove was brilliant, and I had trouble going to sleep afterwards because it was so freaking bloody

11:04 Jared:
Best Documentary Feature: The Cove

11:05 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
that was Lucy

11:05 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
Zack would probably be okay with it

11:05 John:
The director of The Cove was very happy for the nomination because the Oscars are the biggest TV show in Japan and it would bring to light this issue

11:06 Jared:
Why isn’t Tyler Perry wearing his Madea costume?!

11:07 Jared:
OK, I’m confused, because I thought director made some of those decisions.

11:07 John:
That’s a good point

11:07 Jared:
Best Film Editing: The Hurt Locker

11:08 Brian:
Now these are the dorks I was expecting to see with the Visual Effects award.

11:08 Jared:
I think she’s wearing the same outfit as the animated chick in Beetlejuice.

11:09 Jared:
Keanu Reeves is introducing The Hurt Locker because….he is the bomb!

11:09 Jared:
Or Point Break, either one.

11:09 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
is keanu reeves ok? what’s up with his voice?

11:10 Brian:
I think these presenter choices are just to keep the film dorks appeased

11:10 Jared:
Ooooh, special guests!!

11:10 [Comment From GuestGuest: ]
I wonder if Hurt Locker producer’s smear campaign had much on effect?

11:11 Jared:
Let’s talk about that.  I wouldn’t call it a smear campaign, to be honest.  So far, the answer seems to be no.

11:11 Brian:
yeah, I think the momentum is totally with HL at this point

11:11 Jared:
I think there’s all sorts of ridiculous politicking that goes on, Chartier just got a little unlucky.

11:12 Brian:
and he was a little careless about it.

11:12 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
as it announced before voting closed?

11:12 Jared:
Yeah, to fill people in, one of the producers of the Hurt Locker sent out an e-mail to Academy members basically telling them to vote for The Hurt Locker and not for the big budgeted movie.

11:13 Jared:

And this was made public, what, a week before voting closed.

11:14 Jared:
A guess is telling me the e-mail was made public the day voting closed.

11:15 Jared:
Pedro Almodovar’s hair is so good.

11:15 Brian:
This is where things get exciting folks, the winner of this award decides who will win between Jared and Adam (with Brian a slim outside shot at winning as well)

11:15 Brian:
(for the inter-Grouches competition)

11:15 Jared:
And I’m reminded of that scene in…was it Cupid?  Where the girlfriend really likes Tarantino’s acting.

11:16 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Cupid. Yes. Meet Market episode. (What? No one else will ever know the difference.)

11:17 Jared:
Best Foreign Film:  El Secreto de sus Ojos

11:17 Jared:

11:17 Jared:
I fist pumped there.

11:17 Adam:
Damn it. I woke up to lose. Shit.

11:18 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Oooooh ZING for the Argentinian

11:18 [Comment From IanIan: ]
I don’t think a joke has bombed worse all night than that Na’vi one. I secretly love it.

11:19 Brian:
Jared has locked up the Inter-Grouches Competition. Good job!

11:19 Jared:
Kathy Bates introduces Avatar because…she was in Titanic.  Sorry, I couldn’t think of a joke.

11:19 Jared:
Oh, oh, wait.

11:20 Jared:
Kathy Bates introduces Avatar because…watching it was misery!

11:20 Adam:
HAHAHAHAHa….Well done.

11:20 Brian:
Jared wins for joke of the night.

11:20 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
I am interested in how badly Avatar has done tonight

11:21 Jared:

Yeah, I mean, it isn’t going home empty-handed, but depending on what happens in a little bit, may not be fun to be around the Cameron household tonight.

11:22 [Comment From GuestGuest: ]
Avatar hasn’t done that badly at all.

11:22 [Comment From GuestGuest: ]
Hehe, and then Cameron will light a cigar with a flaming hundred dollar bill and feel better.

11:24 John:
This will be over in seven minutes, right?

11:24

Who should win for Best Actor?
George Clooney
( 13% )
Jeremy Renner
( 38% )
Jeff Bridges
( 25% )
Colin Firth
( 25% )
Morgan Freeman
( 0% )

11:24 Jared:

Oh man, the five person panel is back!

11:24 John:
Best Actor: John chose Clooney, Adam and Brian chose Renner, Jared chose Firth as our favored winners

11:25 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
only category i saw every nominee. jeff bridges is the runaway winner.

11:25 Brian:
since my man card is already revoked — Vera Farmiga’s outfit is the most ridiculous one of the night

11:25 Jared:
Looks like the readers disagree!

11:26 Jared:
I’m glad they are doing this again, because if there is one thing I always say, it is that actors’ egos just aren’t stroked enough.

11:26 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Geez, can’t the academy just link to Wikipedia?

11:27 Brian:
George Clooney is so proud of himself

11:28 Jared:
It would have been really amazing if they had gotten Russell Brand to say stuff about Colin Firth.

11:28 [Comment From GavinGavin: ]
Russell Brand is so turrible, Jared. Colin Firth deserves so much better.

11:31 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Wow – SWAT shoutout at the Academy Awards!

11:31 Brian:
Adam spoke about this earlier — but Colin Farrell’s ability to turn on/off his accent at any point — and pick up new accents — is unbelievable

11:32 Jared:
It definitely took Brian and I five minutes yesterday to remember that Kate Winslet won last year.

11:32 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Colin Farrell was the best actor in Crazy Heart. Now seems like a good time to reiterate that.

11:32 Jared:
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges

11:35 Jared:
No no, keep going Jeff.  Got plenty of time left on the telecast.

11:35 [Comment From ZackZack: ]
Is Jeff Bridges high?

11:35 [Comment From LucyLucy: ]
Brian, I disagree with you, Vera’s dress is amazing

11:36 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Wow – the Dude just accepted the academy award for best actor

11:36 John:
I expected a bit more from this speech. Am I wrong?

11:36 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Now would be a great time for a solar outage. (Wikipedia that one, everybody!)

11:36 Brian:
I thought it was pretty good, actually.

11:36 Jared:

A bit more?!  It went on for ten minutes!

11:36

Who should win the Oscar for Best Actress?
Gabourey Sidibe
( 38% )
Sandra Bullock
( 13% )
Meryl Streep
( 38% )
Carey Mulligan
( 13% )
Helen Mirren
( 0% )

11:36 John:
This show is going to end in -6 minutes, right?

11:39 [Comment From charliecharlie: ]
so what awards are left? actress and picture?

11:40 Jared:
And director, I think?

11:40 John:
Best Actress: John chose Streep; Brian Sidibe; Adam Mulligan; and Jared wasn’t man enough to choose and tied Sidibe and Mulligan

11:40 Jared:
I love lots of women, what can I say?

11:41 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Look for Carey Mulligan to possible spoil in this one.

11:42 John:
What gang was Helen Mirren in that she has a spiderweb tattoo on her hand?

11:43 Brian:
Peter Saarsgard isnt even acting and he’s still really creepy

11:43 John:
He needs to call her “Minnie”

11:44 Jared:
Hm, Michael Sheen should have been nominated for The Damned United, Peter Saarsgard should have nominated for An Education, and Forest Whitaker should have been shot for taking part in the abomination that was Powder Blue.

11:44 [Comment From EddieEddie: ]
Helen also has a tear drop tat

11:45 [Comment From EddieEddie: ]
I can’t see Peter saarsgard without being reminded of his penis

11:46 [Comment From WillWill: ]
You know, the fact that Meryl Street CONSTANTLY gets shoutouts… doesn’t that mean she deserves to finally renounce her status as “Best at losing Best Actress”?

11:47 John:
I was the one to whom the task of googling “peter sarsgaard penis” fell. “Kinsey” is the answer

11:47 [Comment From IanIan: ]
I really wish this was Mickey Rourke right now.

11:48 Jared:
Yeah, me too.

11:48 [Comment From WillWill: ]
What the heck are you getting at Sean Penn!

11:48 Brian:
Sean Penn proves once again what an ass he is by making this about him

11:48 Jared:
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock

11:48 John:
“The Blind Side”: Oscar winner. Sheesh

11:49 Jared:
But…she does comedy?  I don’t understand.

11:50 [Comment From WillWill: ]
well, now that we’ve given Sandra Bullock the Julia Roberts Memorial “Erin Brockavich” award, can we go back to ignoring her?

11:50 Jared:
Hey man, why would you ignore Sandra Bullock?

11:52 John:
Nice speech

11:52 Jared:
Yeah, I approve.

11:52 Brian:
Best of the night, I gather, unless Bigelow/Cameron one ups it.

11:52 John:
Best Director: John chose Cameron; Brian and Jared chose Bigelow; Adam chose Tarantino as their preferred winners

11:53 Jared:

Hm, I wonder why Babs is presenting this one?

11:53

Who should win Best Director?
James Cameron
( 25% )
Kathryn Bigelow
( 75% )
Lee Daniels
( 0% )
Jason Reitman
( 0% )
Quentin Tarantino
( 0% )

11:55 Jared:
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow

11:55

Who should win Best Picture?
Inglourious Basterds
( 17% )
Avatar
( 33% )
Up in the Air
( 0% )
Hurt Locker
( 17% )
Up
( 33% )
District 9
( 0% )

11:56 [Comment From AaronAaron: ]
jeff bridges will win back-to-back oscars for his transcendent performance in Tron Legacy

11:56 John:
How is this show 30 minutes over when they cut out performances and the honorary Oscars?

11:56 Brian:
Sorry if anyone wanted to vote for Blind Side, Precious, Serious Man, or An Education

11:56 Jared:

And also when we haven’t seen the hosts in like two hours.

11:58 John:
Haha, she gets played off to the tune of “I am Woman”

11:58 [Comment From WillWill: ]
Boy was the Hurt Locker mediocre. It bothers me that I just didn’t get it, especially after going to the theater last summer convinced I was about to see the best war movie ever.

11:58 John:
Holy crap that was quick

11:59 Jared:
I gotta say, I was thrilled with the move to ten films.

11:59 John:
Guess they really had to finish by 12

11:59 Jared:
Wait, what?  They friggin’ zoomed through that.  Where was the drama?

11:59 Jared:
Best Picture: Drama

11:59 Jared:
oops

11:59 Jared:
Best Picture: The Hurt Locker

11:59 [Comment From IanIan: ]
Nice job building suspense, Tom.

11:59 Brian:
freudian slip — I like it

12:00 [Comment From WillWill: ]
And Jared wins the tiebreaker too! What a bloodbath.

12:00 Brian:
I cant believe how much the Academy botched any possible upswing they’d have gotten in the ratings from a subpar telecast

12:01 Brian:
I hope I’m wrong when the overnights come tomorrow, but I doubt it.

12:01 Jared:
Yeah, I’m stunned at how many missteps there were.

12:02 Adam:
Why? What in their past has led you to believe they wouldn’t botch this?

12:02 Brian:
Hey look! Its Steve martin and Alec Baldwin! They’re here again.

12:03 John:
Hope you all had fun tonight. And I hope we made watching this easier because it was a pretty lame telecast

12:03 Jared:
Well, that’s going to wrap it up.  Thanks to all our wonderful readers, every single one of you was funny and awesome, and I hope I didn’t offend anyone by not including every single comment.  Thanks to Adam, John, and Brian for doing lots of hard work, being great guys, and making this lots of fun.   Keep your eye on the blog and see you next year!

12:04 John:
See you all next year when we crown Shrek Forever After the Best Picture winner of 2010!

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