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Oh Adam.  I’ll give you that your response was lucid and well-written.  Perhaps there’s some sixth-grader somewhere that you’d be able to convince with those arguments.

Let’s skip past the first three points, I think we both agree that Michael Bay movies have made money and aren’t critically reviled.  Anything else is nothing more than a supporting cog in either of our arguments.

Actors and actresses do pass up big budget movies all the time.  Like anyone else, they jump at the chance to make money, but I’m sure they have options other than Michael Bay movies in which to do so.  I still think there is compelling evidence that something other than money is driving them to his movies.  Also, yes, it isn’t hard to cast a hot actress in a movie.   So why doesn’t it happen more often?  How often do you wish the female lead were just a little more attractive?  And how often has that happened in a Michael Bay movie?

But let’s get back to my “semi-valid” points.  I’m glad you were big enough to concede them.  Perhaps the best way to frame my argument is: Imagine someone else directing a Michael Bay movie.  Do you think that would make for a better movie?

We both agree that directors’ roles are often overrated, that scriptwriters and producers generally play pretty important roles in movies.   But can you really think of people you’d rather have helming the type of movies Michael Bay does?  I grant that he specializes in a subgenre of action.  But not so specific that there aren’t plenty of movies aspiring to be Michael Bay movies.  If you were a producer looking to make a movie from an action script you have the rights to, are you honestly telling me Michael Bay wouldn’t be one of the first directors you’d try to get?  To me, Michael Bay excels at directing action movies.  Sure, you might not like all of his movies.  I’d disagree with that sentiment, but you have a right to be wrong.  But I’d wager you don’t really think the problem with the movies was Michael Bay.  You probably didn’t like the script.  I don’t care how great the director is, if they are working from a poor script, the movie is going to be bad.

I could go on, but let’s start there.  Would you really have picked other people to direct the movies Michael Bay has?

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Jared. Jared. Jared. How are you wrong? Let me count the ways.

First, since we’re talking about how “great” Michael Bay is, I think it would be prudent to actually define the word great. Dictonary.com defines great (as it relates to people) as “of extraordinary powers; having unusual merit; very admirable.” Let’s see if Mr. Bay can measure up.

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I do not hide the fact that I heart Michael Bay. Adam, though incredibly rational when it comes to just about everything else, is terribly misguided in his dislike of Mr. Bay. Naturally, I suggested we take this to the blog.

Adam,

Michael Bay is great. The sooner I can convince you of that, the sooner we can move on to more important things. Since for some reason you won’t take my word, it is my duty as an American to change your mind. There are many reasons why Michael Bay is so great, I’ll paint some broad strokes to describe them. If for some reason you aren’t sold, I’d be happy to clarify.

Michael Bay connect with the people. Here’s a list of the takes of his movies. His movies have universally raked in money. Bad Boys (his first) is the under $100 million domestically, but that one was obviously profitable, plus it took it another $75 million overseas. The Island tanked hard (yes, I was there in theaters), but it grabbed over $125 million in foreign lands. Which is what imdb estimates was the budget for the movie, so it is hard to call it a flop, per se, though clearly it wasn’t a moneymaker like the rest of his movies. Still, 6 for 7 ain’t bad. In fact, he ranks 11th all time among directors in combined domestic total gross, (his movies have grossed over a billion dollars!) with most of the directors ahead of him directing more movies and helming heavy-hitting franchises.

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